On Little Old German Ladies

On Friday I went to the local store to buy some firewood since it was suppose to snow (Wasn't Saturday the first day of spring? Weather=fail). While I was at the store I picked up a rose fo' my lady. When reaching the check out line a little old German woman who had a full cart insisted in a thick accent that I go in front of her since I only had a rose and some wood (heh, immature joke).

I replied, "are you sure?"

She said, "of course"

Me: "Thanks"

German lady: "My pleasure, and the young lady who is receiving that rose is very lucky." She then paused thoughtfully and added, "or young man."

huh.

I replied, "uh thanks... its for my wife. A lady wife...thanks..."

My first thought was, what a remarkably tolerant old German lady. My second, more sobering thought was, I must be giving off a really different vibe than I thought.

Later I was pondering my second thought. (can you ponder a thought? Ugh, redundant. If I wasn't so shocked by an old German lady insinuating I might be gay, I wouldn't be so sloppy.)I think of myself as a kind of masculine guy. I'm 6'5" 245. I like beer. And and... Sports. But if I'm honest I'm not always into the most masculine things anymore. I dig Rufus Wainright, musical theater and I laughed at my wife when she suggested I chop my own wood. (heh). I feel dual pressures. I don't want to be a slob but it's my worst fear to be considered metro...

Ultimately, I think the problem is that there is so little in society that allows men to be men in a positive way. We are either bumbling idiots or effeminate. Well, I refuse to be labeled. I choose be balanced. Intelligent, masculine and Pensive. I can make the immature "wood" jokes, read philosophy, drink a beer, watch a UFC fight and chill out to "cigarettes and chocolate milk" (a rufus song...) I choose to be the Dos Equis Man. End of Blog. (You may chant something masculine if you like. Even the ladies. Especially the tolerant German ones.)

TOPEKA ATTORNEY