Tuesday, September 29, 2009

On past battles

Here's a post from my old blog I had in undergrad. I would still post there but I forgot my password...

concerning chicken ducks
Imagine a chicken. Make its bill slightly longer and its head slightly bigger. Make that chicken slightly longer. Now give the chicken a really butt ugly head which is white speckled with black and feathers flailing in every direction like a lion's main. And still further make the chickens feat webbed but it still has the claws. Now make that hideous beast fearless. Once you imagine all these things you will have a good idea what is plaguing my romantic walks with my girlfriend. Yes, Chicken ducks. They are straight from hell. I'm fairly certain the retirement home near the pond where the chicken ducks dwell has been breading them in order to scare some of the old people to death so that they have more space. (that's pretty terrible I know, but a creature this grotesque has to be bread for some evil purpose). Every time Liz and I walk by this pond we usually sit and share a genuinely romantic moment together, but not since the chicken ducks came. These Chicken ducks will fly up right onto this wooden deck about a foot from my face where we are sitting. Then it starts its evil purpose of trying to scare me to death by peering deep into my eyes with its lifeless cold red eyes(however I am not old and I don't die, but I do feel an icy cold feeling deep in my soul that must be part of me dieing). So I feel we must leave and take our romantic getaway elsewhere. But then it flys and sits in the middle of the sidewalk directly in our way. So there I am facing down a demon straight from hell. I knew it was him or me. So I ran straight for it. There on the chill afternoon I ran full force all 230 pounds 6'5" of me ready to crush the evil of this chicken duck. But it didn't move just calmly and coldly stared with an deadly smirk like it knew if I struck it down he would become more powerful then I could ever imagine (shameless star wars reference). So a foot before these two cosmic forces collided I stopped...THE CHICKEN DUCK HAD CALLED MY BLUFF. Never play chicken with a chicken duck. So I looked more moronic then I ever had before in my life (and that's saying alot) the chicken duck had won. So I positioned myself between the chicken duck and liz and walked around with my head held low and the stench of shame in my nostrils (although it prolly was just the chicken duck). The chicken duck knew he had beaten me. He clucked with pride. but deep down I think he knew, like all evil villains know, I would eventually win.......



CHARACTER EDUCATION KANSAS

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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

2nd year

It has been quite a while since my last post. I've been pretty darn busy. I just started my 2nd year of law school. So far its been pretty redonkulously busy. (The expression not the flower. Yes redonkulous is a flower. Google that shit. I don't actually know how its spelled but the condescending google "did you mean" ought to help.)I am taking 13 hours of normal classes most of which are overlapping at a mind numbing pace. I'm now an expert on procedural due process. (that's as boring as it sounds). Going back to school always makes me feel like Harry Potter. Especially in law school when people sometimes say "1st year" or "2nd year."

I am also taking 2 hours of credit for an internship at the district court. That has been fairly interesting. I am not actually allowed to talk about the details of my work (a fact which I love).I think I can actually do this stuff. Which is important because ready or not in less than two years I will have to. Or I could always go back to waiting tables. I don't think my wife would like that idea very much.

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CHARACTER EDUCATION KANSAS