Thursday, August 14, 2014

On Twins

So it appears I have not blogged for quite some time. The reason is that life has accelerated  up to warp speed. (Star Trek reference that quick? Yeah. Deal with it). I have been practicing law, raising my beautiful daughter who is now approaching 2 years old and oh yeah, we had twins boys. I can't describe to you the feeling when I first saw the circle on the sonogram stating, "Baby A, and Baby B." (Something between falling from an extreme height and a first kiss).

However, other people's reaction to the news that we have twins is both diverse and amusing. It ranges from veiled horror to pure elation. The horror seems to come from people trying to imagine trying to manage two infants at one time. Having one baby who isn't sleeping and spitting up on you and pooping on you is terrifying enough. One attorney that I see frequently on the elevator just laughs and shakes his head a lot at me. Sometimes he mutters, "poor bastard." To which I think, "If I wasn't so tired my IQ is literally 20 points lower I would reply with something clever... heh... It'd be so damn clever... YEAH, then you would think I was NOT a poor bastard." But alas I am in a sleep deprived haze and only stare back stupidly. "Kids hard... Two kids harder." These are my more profound moments.

But, double your pleasure double your fun I always say. (I've never said that). Plus as an added bonus my kids can now always fall back on cheesy entertainment gags involving twins for their future careers, which I think is just wonderful. OR they could take over the law firm and have all kinds court room antics involving twin-dome. I smell a reality hit! Double Justice - "Is Justice Blind or did that guy already enter his appearance before the court." OOHHH or they could follow in their grandpa's footsteps, and uncles, and two cousins and become medical doctors. "DOCTOR THEY ARE GOING TO DIE UNLESS YOU PERFORM DOUBLE SURGERY AND YOU CAN'T BE TWO PLACES AT ONCE!!!" Baby A, now a handsome 6'4'' man states cooly, "yes, I can. PAGE BABY B!" (FYI they do have names, Joshua and Caleb, but I prefer to still think of them as Baby A and Baby B).

At any rate those are the sorts of things that are going through my head. Imagining my kids yet unknown lives in double mint gum commercials or in improbable but lucrative TV gigs. (Hopefully, they can grow beards better than I can. That would seal the deal. Also I would hate them for it. Stupid beardless face.)

For now they sit, and gurgle and cry and eat and cry and sleep and cry and not sleep. Maddie (My daughter) run's around in circles yelling, "GO! GO! GO! GO!" And I sit dumbfounded at it all. I have never been happier. Seriously.

(Oh and here's a link to my firm's website, because... self promotion and stuff):  TOPEKA ATTORNEY

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